Misleading Information!

I must start today with an APOLOGY. It has come to my attention that in my post yesterday I mislead you into thinking I had sharp hands by saying 'the lettering was handcut'.  This is false...I used scissors!!

Feel free to sue me!

So NO lies from me this blisteringly, hot sunny day as I lie here starkers on my own desert island beach, sipping a Tequila Slammer cocktail with scores of semi-naked men fanning me & pandering to my every whim!

The alien above is a true representation of myself first thing in the morning (again NO lie)...this was a freebie from Spyder's Corner, dottily 'Promarkered' with googilly eyes & a silver card candy planet surround.

Can't stop, need to turn over & get that lotion rubbed in...WAITER!!

"The Sun Ain't Out...The Sky Ain't Blue...

...Here's A Girly Card, to Cheer Up Your View" Jeesh! Eat yer heart out Buddy Holly! 

Yes! Along with my many other talents...which includes cake making...I was in fact born a poet (STOP sniggering!!)

There's enough glitter on my card today to sink a battleship and what a beautiful name to give a baby, Summer Rose...makes you wanna gather up all yer offspring & rename them!! I've used digi papers from the Sweet Candy collection from the Clipart Fairy again (ooh! I lurv these!!!) , handcut the name & used my Marianne Design Open Flower Trendy die for the flowers with white card candy centres. The leaves are Crealies (CLCS11) and the weeny babe is a Jollynation shrinkie freebie from yonks back!

Off to take out 'lifes little frustrations' on a vacuum cleaner!!!

Am I missing Something..?

I'm beginning to think that I'm actually the Crazy One & everyone else is sane! As you may recall my car insurance renewal arrived so I spent a few hours yersterday trying to find another company to beat this years renewal quote. My first step each year is to the ring the company I'm already with & ask if this is their final offer before I start hunting around.

This is my 'Bizarre Statement of the Day' - according to the Ins' Co. we are legally obliged to inform them EVERYTIME there is ANY kind of 'incident' with the car. So, for example,  if your car is scrapped or dented with say a trolley or key, etc you must inform them immediately, even if it's a teeny weeny scratch & you choose to ignore & not repair it. If you have an accident of any kind & any size (BIG or teeny) & decide not to claim on your ins' but get it fixed yourself you must inform them..."WHY?" I hear you ask...well my friends, it's so they can collect a log of your misfortunes & then penalise you at a later date for being a high risk, clumsy vehicle owner!!! (Their words!!!) Yes! You can bubble-wrap your vehicle & park it a zillion miles away on a deserted island but if some 'arse' bumps it...you're the muppet!!!

Also, thinking of moving?...make sure there's no mad drivers sharing your postcode coz their 'mishaps' will skyrocket your premium!!

The good news is I did get £55, for being a 'loyal customer', knocked immediately off the price when I said I was gonna hunt elsewhere for a cheaper quote. ALWAYS! ALWAYS! ask your ins' co. if their quote is their final offer & threaten to go elsewhere...I get a reduction everytime!!!

Woah! Long post...sorry, got that off my 'buzumbos', I can move on now!!

So my card today is a BIG, FAT 'Raspberry' to all you out there trying to rip us off. This is 'Dick Van Duck Party' from Just Inklined, with papers & flowers made from an old Papermania collection using my Marianne Design Open Flower Trendy Die & Crealies Leaf die (CLCS12) with card candy & glitter to finish.

RANT OVER.....Calm...xxx

The Sun is Out...

It must be Monday! My tumble dryer's broken, my car insurance renewal has come through & I'm gonna need mountaineering equipment in order to scale the dizzy height that is my ironing pile!!

AGH!! I hate insurance renewals, it becomes a bigger nightmare expense each year with more 'standard' benefits being removed yet the price still rising...GRRR!

A request to make a Mother's Day card cheered me up. This is 'Clover dancing with Dragonflies' from Pollycraft coloured with Promarkers & glitter. The digi DPs are from the gorgeous Clipart Fairy Sweet Candy paper pack, silky flowers with a pink gem brad centre and a few mauve gems to finish.

Off to seek Happiness...

Frogs Porn

Jeesh! Keep the noise down!!!

It's a wonder anyone can sleep in my road at the mo' with the frog noise reverberating from our pond at night. It's only a small pond but I counted 13 of the noisy 'blighters' the other night, one with a strong resemblance to Jabba the Hut trying to tempt the ladies with his teasing 'ribbit' (heaven knows what they see in him!!). The pond's all stirred up, the fish don't know where to look while they're 'at it' and if all that 'jelly' hatches & then returns to our pond next year for a repeat performance...well... it doesn't bear thinking about!!!

So in honour of this annual ritual I've made a froggie card using 'Hanging' from Doodle Dragon, coloured with a selection of Frog Green Promarkers & layered. The DP & flowers were made from the Making Memories Simply Fabulous Brooke collection using my Marianne Design Open Flower Trendy die, a weeny flower punch with green pearly, gem centres & a huge squirt of glitter to finish.

***

Mother's Day

Just to confuse Moi, somebody's moved Mother's Day to April this year! So I'm way early & will probably put this card away somewhere safe & then forget I made it & make another one (bit like my OH's Valentine's prezzie which I'd forgotten I'd bought & hidden under Oliver's bed. I'm sure some of last years Xmas prezzies will soon start re-appearing when I have one of my Mass-Tidy-Ups!) I was gonna say 'Clear-Outs' but there are some 'mucky' followers out there (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!)

Today I've made a simple flower-punched card in a variety of pastel shades with enough bling to start a fire!!

Gonna be another beautiful day today...ENJOY!! xx

Lady Garden'er!!

Yo!

A late n' quick posting from me today. Did my first 'official' gardening job today & thoroughly enjoyed it...Yep! Janey's Gardening Services is up n' running. My OH suggested a business name of Janey's Lady Garden Services for which he got a damned good 'slap!' Anyway...I had a great day, worked hard & the lady was very pleased with the result & wants me to come back in 2 weeks time to do some more.

My card was made using the Together Forever stamp from LOTV, coloured with my insecure Promarkers (still quaking in their little lids praying I don't buy pencils & forget them!!), the flowers, made using my Marianne Design 'Open Flower Hip' die cut, & the background card are by Kanban. White card candy flower centres, a swirl of pearls & a squidge of glitter here n' there.

Catch yer later.....

One Sausage or 2?

Hmmm....I guess if your house is draughty, then 2 sausage dogs wedged against that howling gale under the door would be a wise choice.

Sausage dogs are funny creatures & you have to wonder...why? (if not just to seal a gap!!)

My two (was gonna say 'lovebirds'...but they're clearly not birds!) pooches were from Pollycraft yonks back. Coloured with the ol' Promarkers with glazing here n' there & a simple peel-off message.

Hang loose everyone....!!

Faber Castell Polychromos OR Prisma

I know some of my Facebook pals have already seen this question but does anyone have any leanings towards Faber-Castell Polychromos or Prismas or maybe something else.

Have had a 'play' in Hobbycraft (when no one was looking!) with the FCP's & fell in love & they're £1.26 each.

Any top tips, comments. etc...HUGELY appreciated!

xxx

Peace at last...

Sometimes there's only one place left to get some peace n' quiet!!

I'm continuing on my diet this week of Day / Nightnurse in my quest to kill those darned cold germs that made their way past my tissue barrier. Red Nose Day may have passed but I look as if I'm still wearing the nasal attachment. And talking of RND, what an amazing night that was on TV...Smithy was excellent & George Michael such a good sport!!

My card today was made for a bloggy pal Faye who had her berfday last week. The cute baby was a freebie a while back from Marjies Malarkies coloured with Promarkers. All the gorgeous papers are from the Clipart Fairy Sweet Candy digi paper range, with some gems & a ribbon to finish.

Infected!!!

The Cold Germ has unleashed its evil powers on my nose & it's like an annoying dripping tap. I went in the garden to take this snap and to try & absorb some Vitamin D from the sun. What you can't see is the puddle of 'nasal-dribble' by my feet as I leant forward to take this photo.

So keeping it brief as breathing with tissue wodged up yer nostrils just aint easy (or pretty!)

This gorgeous Heart Tree digi is from Priscilla Styles coloured with Sakura glitter pens. Kept it clean & simple today with just an embossed framed border.

Enjoy the sun peeps!!!

Don't Laugh...!

It's official...Spring has been n' gawn, it's raining & blimin' cold here. So in an attempt to cheer you all up I bring you my first attempt at 'rolled' flowers. NO...Stop it! Get off the floor!!!

This is Arthur & his Present from the DigiStamp Boutique, all papers used are from the Basic Grey Eva collection with a ring of teeny punched flowers. Thank you Kim for the Rolled Flowers tutorial (yours were waaaay better!). They did come out ok but kept unfurling. Then I realised they wouldn't fit in the envelope so I gave them a huge squirt of glitter-glue & squashed them between 2 elephants cuttlebug plates. A few Basil Fawlty 'pointy-finger' motions & the threat of the bin & the little 'darlings' performed!

TA-DA!

Have a fabby weekend everyone...

Just a Quickie...

No ramblings today..."phew!" I hear you mutter.

This is Summer Fairy Finna from Mo's Digital Pencil, coloured with an assortment of pastel Promarkers, with glittery wings. I have no idea where I got the gorgeous DP's from (sorry, they may be old DCWV), weeny, punched flowers with pearly centres, the letters are from Basic Grey.

Have a great day everyone

xx

Duped!

Yes...duped!

The weather peeps yesterday got it wrong...BIG TIME. Sprawled across my sun-lounger in my bikini, I looked a right muppet as the sun hardly came out at all and the promise of temperatures of 16 degrees never materialised either in my back yard...more like flamin' MINUS 16!!

Staying in today with the heating on full-blast to stave off a bout of the flu!!

My New Home card today uses one of the gorgeous House On The Hill digis by Rich Davis courtesy of Squigglefly. It's a beautiful set of 4 stamps of the same house but at different times of the year. Dottily coloured with my Promarkers, the DP is from the Basic Grey Olivia collection with gem hearts to finish.

Off to layer up in more jumpers!!!

PS Hello Neil...if you're reading...Luv yer xx

Caravan of Lurv'...

Aloha!

A quick posting from me today as I've got a bikini to dust off & iron. Apparently it could get as hot as 16 degrees today & I wanna be prepared, deckchair, sun-lotion at the ready, just need to find someone with big, manly hands to lather me up! (preferably a MAN & NOT a woman with Big, Manly hands...eugh!!)

My card today almost tipped me over the edge.  I've been asked so many times to make cards for Caravanning peeps & have always scuttled to a dark corner at the very mention of the word. This took me ages to make (I know...it doesn't look like it!) but I'm quite chuffed with the result. It's all handmade, from the hand-cut caravan to the bunting & grass. The blue DPs are from The Clipart Fairy Sweet Candy paper collection, the grass is a scrap of Kanban card & the characters are Gus & Stella from Bugaboo.

Keep it groovy you lot!!

S.W.A.L.K.

Fully de-moustached, I have returned to the public arena today appropriately attired in my new spring wardrobe to purchase some potato, tomato & spring-onion seeds. I think my new pink-lycra-leggings & boob tube are more than suitable for the garden centre!

Yes! I've been all horticultural-like this morning in our annual quest to be self-sufficient, not sure where I'm gonna put the cow yet but I think there's just about enough room in Oliver's room to squeeze in the sheep.

Today I bring you LOVE using the Geeky Love digi stamp from Make It Crafty, coloured with Promarkers, the DPs & punched hearts are a freebie from The Clipart Fairy and it's all finished  with a splatter of glitter!

Off to look into Combine Harvester rentals... xxx

I'm Back!!!

Yes...I'm back! It's safe to come out of hiding since I broke into the mega-store that I visited last week & stole their CCTV footage of my Fashion-Mistake. I have a Hit-Man warrant out on anyone who has material ready to release on YouTube & a Rottweiler of a Solicitor champing at the bit!

My card today is for a Golfer-Holic (yawn...can't see the novelty myself). My Promarkers are still a bit embarrassed to be seen in public with me at the mo' so everything on my card is digitally made, from the papers, the golf chap to the hand-cut lettering, all from The Clipart Fairy. I've used items from the Golf Mad Kit and a selection of letters that were a freebie from the Men In Mind Alphabet set.

Glad to be back...don't like dark cupboards!

From my Cupboard!

I am still officially in hiding but have managed under the cover of darkness to sneak out & make a quick card. This is my first venture into the world of digi papers & everything on my card today has come from the Clipart Fairy. The papers are from the Sweet Candy Pack, the Shopping Diva is from a set by Alice Smith coloured with Promarkers. The flowers are made using a Papermania stamp with mauve, gem flower centres & the swirls are Crealies (CL CS 02).

OK...back into hiding...hoping to return next week when my moustache growth should be sufficient enough to make me unrecognisable on any CCTV footage that may be circulating on YouTube!

Have a fab weekend everyone xx

IN HIDING!

Due to a HUGE Faux Pas in public this morning I am now in hiding from the Fashion Police and will remain so until the coast is clear!

I took my MIL to the doctors for a routine check-up & opted to stay in the car while she went in to be examined, probed & tested...didn't wanna sit in the waiting room & risk catching something.

Knowing this was my plan I had left the house wearing my ankle-swinging trakkies (eat yer heart out Sue Sylvester!), a scraggy t-shirt, no bussombo-holder & a cardigan with a button missing. I was gonna do my house cleansing upon my return so thought there's no point dressing up just to sit in the car...MISTAKE!

MIL decided she needed to visit a well populated mega-store "desperately" to buy a radiator-key and because she's never visited this store before I had to leave the protected confines of the car to show her where to find them inside...OH THE SHAME!!

So no cards for a few days until the furore has died down & my face has de-reddened!! (not a real word)

***

An Award...Blush!

A big THANK YOU to Patricia over at Rubber Stamping Is My Game for sending me this Award...I'm honoured.

Now Rules are Rules & who am I to break them?

Rule 1. Thank your fellow Bloggeroonie for sending you the award...TICK

Rule 2. Tell you (poor things) 7 things about me. So...go pour yourself a wee dram of the strong stuff, plug in yer iPod & close your eyes. I'll nudge you when I'm done.

1. I am ALL Woman

2. I have 1 husband & 2 crazy kids

3. I have a cat that can Snore & Dribble for England

4. I once had hypnotherpy to get me on a plane

5. Sue Sylvester is my Twin

6. Jim Carey floats my boat

7. LOVE peeps with a wicked sense of humour

OK...job done...NUDGE...You can open yer eyes now!

Rule 3. Pass the award onto 15, yes 15 fellow Crafty Bloggers...in no partiuclar order (in case someone tries to psychoanalyze the list)

1. Mina at Pinkpuds

2 Tracey at My Crafty Corner

3. Marlene at Disguised As A Grown Up

4. Martina

5. Faye at Stampin' Fluff n' Stuff

6. Beccy at Beccy's Place

7. Sheila at Doubtfires Musings

8. Judie at I Just Love Crafty Mess

9. Vix at Vixykins

10. Dawny at Pink Piggy

11. Dawn at My Stamping Thyme

12. Mandy at Made By Mandy

13. Kim at From My Stamp Room

14. Bev at All the Things I Love

15. Wendy at the Clipart Fairy

'Ere You Go Darlin'...Flowers!

Allo you Flamin' Gorgous Lot!!

Keeping it brief today coz the sun's shining & I need to get out & catch some rays!

My card today is as sunny as it gets...stamp is On The Garden Wall from LOTV coloured with my hypothermic Promarkers (who by the way...enjoyed their day-trip yesterday!). All the papers are from the Making Memories Simply Fabulous Maddi collection with gem flowers to finish.

Now...go have a Groovy weekend...let your hairs down & swing those hips!!!

Entering it at -

Bearly Mine - Birthday

By the Cute and Girly - Springtime

Creative Inspirations - In the Garden

Cute Card Thursday - Signs of Spring

Fab n' Funky - Spring into Action

Papertake Weekly - Anything Goes

Simply Create - Power of Flowers

Stampin' For the Weekend - Spring

Stamps R Us - For the Girls

Sweet Stampin' Challenge - Oh So Girly

Promarker Day Trip

Yes! My Promarkers are on a day trip to "PENrith" today. They've gone with  PENg Travel who are the UK's biggest provider of naturist holidays so not only can they let their little hairs down but everything else too. Let's hope it warms up a tad though, don't want their bits drying up!!

 I've also given my digi stamps the day off too (they're in the jacuzzi as I write!)

So my card today has a handcut 90 made from Doodlebug sugarcoated limeade cardstock that I've thrust thru' the ol' Cuttlebug Swiss Dots folder, mounted on to white Swiss Dotted card, the papers & bunting are made from the Wild Rose Studio Polka Dot collection. I've edged it all with glitter & faux stitching.

Another Drink Bartender!

Morning You Gorgeous Peeps!

The similarities between me & my card today are few...I am a woman, I too have arms, legs & slightly "mad" hair but that's where the similarities end... (ooh!...I  do own a "packet" of oliveless cocktail sticks!!) Oh to be tall, skinny, have long legs, a pink frock & a full glass of the "squiffy" stuff. Alas...I have been dealt the hand of "short / stumpiness" in abundance & the inability to walk in any heel height above 3mm without the aid of a safety net! And the closest thing I have to a pink handbag is...a greeen one!!! Being this short though I am able to take full advantage of all the activities that a hamster cage has to offer, so NOT all bad news!!

The gorgeous "peep" on my card today is Scarlette from Bugaboo wearing her little, pink Promarker dress. The papers are from the Wild Rose Studio "In Love with Japan" collection, the flowers are cut from one of the sheets, curled with glitter highlights & pearl centres. A few more random pink pearls & Sakura highlights to finish.

Gas Mask Alert!

NO! Not gas from me...("Ladies" go to the bottom of the garden to "pft!") A certain female teenager in my house who will remain anonymous (but is the ONLY female teenager under this roof called Sophie) has discovered the aerosol can in all its many guises. We now live in a permanent toxic, sticky, heavily perfumed cloud of hairspray & deodorants. I no longer need to apply my own scents or bother styling my barnet each day, as I leave the house bathed in a concoction of odours & my face & hair don't move in even the strongest of gale-force winds!!

My card today is Pretty Gillian from Prairie Fairy doing her bit for Global Warming. Coloured with Promarkers with a mauve, gem necklace. The flowers are cut from Sweet Berry Pink cardstcok from DCWV.

Entering it at -

Passion for Promarkers - Sugar Rush

MAWTT - Fashion

Stamp Something - Flowers

Prairie Fairy - Inspired by a Song (Has to be TOXIC by Britney Spears!!)