Let Them Eat Cake

 

NOT!

This is the warning being issued by the RSPB following the unusual rise in bird obesity in the Hertfordshire area over the past 2 years. It appears that 'someone' (their identity is not being disclosed) has being putting out 'failed Christmas' cakes, that had been rejected by the building industry as house-bricks, to the birds in the North Herts area.

It seems birds arrive in gardens in peak condition...

(Norman the pigeon)

 

...and then find themselves unable to take off, with chronic indigestion and requiring the assistance of the emergency services to air-lift them to the gym for a work-out having indulged in said festive offering.

Officials have been reassured that the cake offender, who is believed to be a cateringly-challenged female, about 21 years old (ahem!), lacking in height and with a thing for George Clooney has in fact given up entirely in her attempt to bake a Christmas cake and has been caught on CCTV this year purchasing a rather natty one from a Tesco supermarket. Despite this assurance, the public are still advised that she may be armed with a dibber or trowel so approach with caution...and if you're offered cake...RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!